You Look Like A Smudged Pencil Mark!

Today I spent a few minutes walking without my glasses on (operation gets contacts in eyes still a no go…hoping for success this weekend).  I was sitting on a bench during my lunch break reading a new book I bought yesterday.  I’m amazed at what doesn’t bother me when it comes to my glasses.  Maybe it’s because I’ve been wearing them for 13 years, or maybe whoever it is who makes the decision of who has shitty vision and must wear glasses and who can see clearly (now, the rain is gone…sorry) makes these decisions based on personality.  I know some folks who could not deal with having spotty vision thanks to some blown up dust.  Take a breath, wipe it off, move on.

While I was reading I noticed a few of these dust spots so I took the spectacles off to give them a little brush.  It’s a beautiful day today, which brought out loads of men, women, etc.  I decided to just watch for a minute without the help of glasses.  Things were blurry but not entirely indistinguishable.  Sitting and watching without glasses, I found, made me feel very introverted and secretive.  Kind of like, “you don’t know this but you look like a smeared pencil mark”.  Is it wierd to think like this?  Oh well, even if it is, the mischevious little brat in me enjoyed the game.

As the clock struck “time to get back to work” I decided to do a mini experiment.  Again, something just for me that thrilled the hell out of me and only me.  I walked the short walk from the bench to my office without my glasses on, and here were a few things I noticed:

• New thoughts such as “Oh shit, steps” and “Where does that end???” kept coming up.
• Hesitence, hesitence, hesitence.
• Smelled something burning but didn’t look around to see what it was…had to remain focused (see second bullet).
• Felt cross-eyed most of the walk…hope that was just in my head.

 

Anyone else ever played around with vision?  Walked with your eyes closed?  Totally different feeling, isn’t it?

 

Behind Closed (Bathroom) Doors

The bathroom is a sacred space, agreed?  We all know what goes on in there but we don’t talk about it.  It’s like a brothel, and like the goings on of a brothel, if what goes on is discussed in public we all get a little antsy in our pantsy.  Apparently many out there don’t share my feelings because I’m constantly getting roped into conversation as I step into the stall.  This is MY space and MY time.  My “how are you” question was hypothetical and drawn from politeness.

I know you dudes do some of your beeswax out in the open, but I was under the impression that once the fly goes down the invisible door goes up.

Also, please don’t stroll into the stall next to me and heave out a sigh of relief, exhaustion, frustration, or giddyness.  If any of those emotions have to do with what you’re doing right now, I don’t want to know about it…and I won’t ask!

Am I the only one who feels this way?  Am I the prude because I think that talking and whatever happens behind a bathroom stall door just don’t mix?

seriously considering wearing this whenever i use the facilities at work

 

Oh, Today…

Today is a good day.  I know I shouldn’t be shocked when days are good, but with all of the “who knows what’s gonna happen” stuff in my life right now it’s hard to have a day when I’m not letting in all of that “what if” mumbo jumbo.

Today is a good day because of the following:

• Apartment Lead.  After Saturdays major let down (see a couple posts back) I’m nervous/maybe a little too hopeful.  Send good vibes, please.
• Small World iced chai avec plus cinnamon.  Just…yea.
• Pending arrival of Fall clothes from American Eagle signify a pending arrival of Fall!
• Posts from The Fitnessista, a completely inspirational/entertaining blog that I have recently delved into.  Her posts have helped me become more confident with eating and more thoughtful about fitness.  MAKE THE BREAKFAST COOKIE!!!
• The PhD application spreadsheet has been created!  Finally feel like I’m moving forward and seeing the info in its Excel glory really helps with that (until I look at the application fee column).
• Yoga with Elise at In Balance Center tonight.  In the last class I had with Elise I did my first full bind EVER.  Excited to see what is to come tonight (though must remember–if the bind doesn’t come, it’s not meant to come right now).

Sorry for the lack of sarcasm if that’s what you were hoping for.  Trust me…there have been a few rolled eyes and giggles of the under the breath variety mixed in with the above.  Snark+Happiness+Cinnamon=The way to be.

 

My First Chocolate Bar

Today I bought a chocolate bar.  It’s not halloween, nor am I having a party this weekend.  I bought the bar because I have an addiction and I’ve learned that supressing a chocolate addiction can only lead to a double intake of chocolate, and a really shitty attitude.  As an “I don’t like my body” girl from the get go, I tend to view chocolate as something bad that should only be had during holidays and low self esteem days or weeks.  Recently, however, I started to realize that in order to be healthy and potentially slim down I need to eat the right kind of food and not live like a nutritional nun.

This weekend was filled with parties, pasta, and beer (sorry, but there was no Petrone).  I did a moderate yoga practice on Saturday morning using one of the videos on the Kripalu website, but other than that and some white girl dancing to gangsta rap dancing, there was pretty much no exercise.  Whenever I have a non-exersice weekend it makes me think of the things I want to change about my eating and physical activity…is that bad?

Anywho, on the drive home this afternoon I decided to stop off at Wegmans for some salad ingredients.  I get bored with the familiar  homemade ceaser salads and Panera strawberry/kiwi/lambs blood ones.  I picked up romaine hearts and organic Feta cheese.  In the cabinet at home (cupboard for any of you Canadian readers…there are SO many of you ), I had quinoa, carrots, cucumbers, an apple, and balsamic vinagrette.  Combine with a little mom’s homemade chai latte, and it was FANTABULOUS!  Perfectly satisfying and I can’t wait to experiment with other salad recipes!

my attempt at a thumbs up after my first bite

But wait…isn’t the word chocolate in the title of this post?  Am I playing a joke on you?  Am I using buzz words in a cheap attempt to get readers? Oh, foodie reader, how could you think that I would do that??  During my Wegmans trip I was in the organic/health food section and found myself standing right in front of an aisle of chocolate (aka Mecca).  Recently I heard a radio host talk about how she buys the really good chocolate and by doing that she can have just a couple pieces at a time and feel incredibly satisfied.  She said she also feels better because she buys the good chocolate that isn’t filled with massive amounts of sugar and ingredients that the worlds best linguist couldn’t pronounce.  With this in mind I bought a bar of 70% Divine Fair Trade dark chocolate.  I am SO looking forward to not just the eating, but the choco-goodness indulging.

For ONCE, I’m looking forward to the experience rather than just the food.

Any foods that you used to have a fear of but eventually learned to love, for whatever reason??

 

Epic Fail of Apartmental Proportions

Me and the dude figured we’d use today, a lovely Saturday, to hunt for an apartment.  It did not go well.  Places were either closed, did not have one bedroom apartments as their websites specified (though with the proper wig I could maybe pass for a 55 yr old), and previously set up appointments were postponed.  I know this is dumb, but with this day of failure came gross feelings of self-deprication and doubt.  Is this ever going to finally happen?  Are we too stupid to look for the right places?  I’d just like somewhere between a stinking rat hole where gang members chillax, and my parents house.  Is this so difficult???

I know these are dumb thoughts and as dumb thoughts often do, they will pass.  But after a day of failure, it’s difficult to be peppy and sunshiney and such.  I could’ve turned to alcohol after the afternoon we had, but I did not.  I turned to the high road.  I turned to mozzarella, basil, and tomato on foccacia bread, and I have to say…it helped a little.  The ice cream I plan to devour later tonight will also be of great and welcome assistance.

Have you had a shit-tastical apartment hunting experience?  Any tips for this novice?

 

La Magnifico Music-o

When one is in a long-distance relationship, one must sometimes simply DEAL with stuff.  Not everything will work out the way you want it to.  Sometimes, Wednesday night sucks and Thursday night sucks and Monday morning definitely sucks.  Sometimes…it’s not so bad.  I’m apprehensive at giving unsolicited advise to people who are starting out in a long-distance relationship because all people and relationships are different.  Scott and I went into this whole thing thinking it would just be a fling o’ fun.  Little did we know it would turn into this:

 

 

the golden couple

 

However, there is one thing that will always, 154% guaranteed happen when you live here and he/she lives there.  I can guarantee you, my long-distance lover reader, that while in this relationship you will take another lover (gasp!).  No…you’re not going to be a slutty mcsluttersen.  The secondary relationship I’m talking about doesn’t give you the pleasure or cheap thrill that a one night stand might.  The relationship I’m talking about…is with your car.

You may already have a close relationship with your car.  You may have even named it (god, I miss Bubba).  But what happens in a long-distance relationship is that you begin to depend on your car more than most people.  I have an agreement with my faithful Focus that it will take me interstate on Fridays and Sundays without issue.  On the rare occasion that the low tire pressure light goes on or the windows don’t care to take it down a notch, we quarrel but always forgive each other because after all, there will always be another Friday.

Like most people, the car has a little something something that I love but at times I loathe, and that thing is the RADIO.  I don’t/can’t listen to terrestrial radio anymore (you know…Boomboom and Chickie in the morning! Coming atchya!).  Getting Sirius Radio was, well, amazeballs.  92% of the time on my travels to see my dude, you can find me listening to Howard Stern.  Don’t frigging shutter! Don’t gasp and give me a pseudo-knowing look.  Howard is the shit…he is hilarious…he is smart…he is entertaining…and as far as I know, they haven’t thrown bologna at a girls backside in years.  Unfortunately, there are times like now when Howard goes on hiatus and I’m left to my own devices during Friday evening rush hour.  These Howard-less rides can become kind of lonely because when Howard, Robin, Fred, et al are on I feel like there are a bunch of friends in my car keeping me entertained and motivated to not just run into someone to break up the monotiny that is bumper to bumper.

the reason this relationship has lasted for so long

 

Yesterday I was doing my typical drive.  As I slipped into Humphrey, I glared at his radio, praying that we could keep the peace for the next few hours.  Thankfully, he was agreable.  SUCH GOOD MUSIC!  I found myself wishing for a disco ball!  This made me think (aka blog in my head) that it would be nice to share some of the songs that kept me going during my drive.  The songs were found on a variety of Sirius music stations.  I strongly encourage you all to seek them out, especially if you’re in a long-distance relationship with one person and a love/hate one with your car.

Ici:

• September–Earth, Wind & Fire
• I Will Always Love You–Whitney Houston (admittedly, I was hoping for Dolly)
• Waterloo–ABBA
• Runaround Sue–Dion & The Belmonts
• Love in America–JTX (though, the phrase “let me be your honey taker” is more than mildly disturbing)
• Fools Rush In–Ricky Nelson (swoon!)

As the traffic started to pile up and an uninvited break in any good music came on, my mood began to shift.  I started to feel that same “ugh, not this again” feeling that comes with the onset of red, blinding break lights.  However, all of a sudden and without warning, a lovely noise came into the car.  Humphrey heard it too.  Like a choir of angels, but way more awesome.

Did you hear…that the temperature’s rising?  What about the fact that the berometers getting low?  I mean…according to my sources anyway…the street really is the best place to go.

• IT’S RAINING MEN!

Like a gift of the gods, it renewed my spirits!  I wish I could say that the traffic parted like the red sea.  Though it didn’t, something even beter and more nostalgic did occur.  Do you remember the late 90s?

• As Long As You Love Me

Sure, not all of these songs are amazeballs.  But when you’re in a long-distance relationship the music is usually what keeps you going during the looooooong drives.  The songs don’t all have to be winners.  They just have to, for a few hours anyway, make you want to DANCE!

 

Excitement Eruptions of the Yoga Persuasion!!!

AHHHHH!!!! I’M SO EXCIIIIIITEDDDDD! SERIOUSLYYYYYYYYY!

Cutting to the chase…too excited for wit and sarcasm!  Kripalu, aka one of my favorite places in the whole world, has posted hour long yoga classes on their website…and they’re free to watch!

http://www.kripalu.org/article/1205

I am beyond excited right now.  I love my yoga studios around town and have met some fabulous teachers.  It’s also great to have a physical place to go where I can practice and meet people with similar interests.  However, every once and a while there are always those little reasons for not wanting/being able to go to the studio…oh, say, like a category 1 hurricane.

I have had some fabulous classes at Kripalu, so for me the fact that these videos are posted means that I get to go back to the Berkshires.  The first time I went there I went with a good friend, Jacquelyn.  The second time I went I went up by myself and met some really sweet people in my program and just around the property.  I ate delicious food that made me feel lighter and healthier (OMG…PEASANT BREAD!!) and I remembered how to take a walk without going anywhere in particular (DID I MENTION THE PEASANT BREAD???!).  If you have never been…GO!

On the website there are gentle, moderate, and vigorous class videos posted.  I was always a little apprehensive to go to vigorous classes while I was at Kripalu, so perhaps I’ll try one now that I can do it in the privacy of my own home.  Actually…that sounds like a fabulous idea!

 

A Little to the Left

Yesterday, since I survived the hurricane and all, I went for a run.  I also needed to break in my new sneakers, which I love but for the next couple of runs will cause me nothing but frustration and sore knees (pretty much what happens when you try anything or anyone new).

I did my typical 3.2 mile run around the neighborhood, but this excursion was different all because I looked to the left.  When I run outside, as I’m guessing most people do, I usually look straight ahead of me.  If there’s any curvature of the neck it’s usually downward to make sure there aren’t any big dips or branches that could cause me to relive the Tumble of ’96 (quite traumatizing. far too painful to discuss on the interweb.).  Looking ahead is also a good way to distract me from the fact that I’ve been running for over 2 miles and I’m tired.  Rarely do I break tradition by looking side to side unless I have to cross the street.

On this particular run, however, as I ran down South Triangle Road, I looked a little bit to the left.  I have gone down this road countless times (tried to count, failed).  And yet, this one time because I looked a little bit to the left I noticed a field.  It wasn’t anything insanely expansive.  People from Iowa probably wouldn’t bat an eye.  But regardless of what those corn pushers might think, I was really taken aback by this field that I’d ignored for so long.  Usually my peripheral vision never passed the “For Sale” sign at the edge of the sidewalk.  Why the hell had I never wondered what exactly was for sale?  Continuing this new found curiosity and cranial motion I looked to the left a little more…hell, I even gave the right side a little attention!  Here’s what I saw that I swear to bejesus, I had never noticed:

1. Mary Mother of God Church finally has a roof after almost a year of construction.

2. My parents driving on Triangle Road, waving and flashing their lights at me.

3. The realtor sign that I thought had been taken down, sadly laying under a bunch of branches next to a metal fence.

4. A community of birds nests in a tree that I usually dodge because of it’s long branches.

So maybe I didn’t have an amazing, post natural disaster epihpany along the way.  Oh well.  Just the fact that I saw things that I don’t usually see  and that are worth seeing, except for the cooky parents, was enough for me.  I fully intend to go to some of my other running routes once the rivers have stopped flooding, and look a little to the left.

When you look a little to the left after staring straight for so long, what do you see?  Anything new?  Anything naked?

 

Six Days of What Now?

The Vatican is setting aside six days in which women who have had abortions can confess their sin and get a clean slate, aka a Pass Go & Collect $200 card into heaven.  The f*&!??  Here is my problem with religion, and I promise not to ramble for too long (please ignore promise if ramble exceeds 20 lines).

This is not about my opinion on abortion.  Rather, it has to do with my opinion on religion, or at least, how many people around the world use religion.  In this instance religion is being twisted and meddled with in order for one group (the Catholic Church) to reassert their control over another (women).  It wasn’t enough to just go with the standard “you’re wrong if you do this because it is written in a thousands of year old book that was written by a bunch of dudes”.  Now the Church seems to want to show it’s benevolence (aka extreme power of the flip flop variety) by taking back those it excommunicated. 

What is the purpose of these six days?  Is God that lenient, or is man that coniving?  I am so incredibly not a reader of the good book unless you’re referring to the good book of do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  However,  I was under the impression that what is written in the Bible is the word and the word cannot be changed.  Isn’t that the reason for Michelle Bachman’s straighten up and fly hetero camps?  The book says that one man cannot be with another man so get the hell outta dodge or you better start dodging the road signs to hell.  What is written in the Bible and how it is interpretted by those in power is what it means and cannot be changed…right?  I know I keep asking the same question, but if that is the case then what do these six days mean?  I know many Catholics who are kind, accepting people…my mom being one of them, though she is of the fallen variety.  Why do we have to come up with a set of rules to make it so easy to kick people out of our club and putz around with those rules just to scare those same people back into submission?  Isn’t the point of God to love God and to come together in his good name?  If you’re going to believe in God then that is what I think you should do, but what do I know?…I’m a live free, yoga practicing, spiritual, karma toting, Jew in the cultural sense.

I suppose that this post is another little glimpse into the mind of me for you readers.  I am pretty much anti-getting involved/putting too many eggs in one basket.  Through observation and experience I have learned that in most cases, investing all of yourself into one thing, oh let’s say, an organized religion, tends to strip you of rationality and independent thought.  Committment and passion are wonderful things, but take them too far and you just end up as one of the crowd, sharing the same brain and liver function.  I would be against this six day “reprieve” no matter which organized religion was setting it up because in my opinion it just doesn’t make sense for man to enact the word of God when God isn’t around to defend himself.

Respect each other. Don’t judge him because of how he was born or her because of how she chooses to live. Don’t selfishly speak for others, and please, assume that God has a sense of humor…I mean, have you seen the duck billed platypus?*

So that’s my opinion.  I would be happy to hears your…

*Note: joke was intended for humor purposes and was not intended to be cruel.  The duck billed platypus can be in my club any day of the week.  We can eat corndogs and watch chick flicks.

 

Where Did The Sarcasm Go??

Damn you “Surprise Homecoming”.  You make me cry, make me way more patriotic (temporarily) than I am comfortable being, and you rip my cynicism right from under me.

That is…until last night.  Surprise Homecoming is a show on TLC in which members of the military surprise their loved ones by coming home from the Middle East.  These reunions are done in public in high falooting ways and there are always tears.  Can you say “heart strings”?  Probably the worst part of the show is that it’s hosted and narrated by Billy Ray Cyrus.  Anti-Christ?  Well, that’s debateable.  But what is a stone cold fact is that his monotone voice is as soul-crushing as the appearance of his mullet.  However, once you get past Mr. Cyrus and his ungodly/uncomfortable…well…everything, the show is a sweet account of families reuniting after incredibly stressful periods of time spent apart.

While watching Surprise Homecoming I always cry.  ALWAYS, and last night was no different.  I was two skips away from weeping as an Air Force soldier surprised his daughter during her Girl Scout meeting.  Not only that, but he also met his 8-month old child for the first time.  You’re crying a little right now, aren’t you?  As I watched I thought, “Oh shit…this is it.  I am no longer snarky.  I can no longer find the rediculousness in everyday life because this damn show and Billy Ray Cyrus have taken it away from me by force feeding me childhood innocence and patriotic hoo-ha.  Goodbye free thought and satire.  I guess it’s time for my eyeballs to finally straighten now that there will be no more rolling of them.  Bring on the good old red, white, blue, and sap!

But then…an angel came down from heaven and she was dressed as an overly emotional Girl Scout leader.  The leader…I forget her name…I think it was Sappy Pants McGoo, became so emotional at the reunion of father and daughter that as she spoke to the camera she couldn’t get more than two words at a time out before choking up so hard that the subsequent two words were incomprehensible.  It was…so goddamn hilarious you guys.  “It’s just *suck in breath suck in breath* so beautiful *exaggerated exhale exaggerated inhale*.”  This went on for a good paragraph of overly emotional hilarity.

I am SURE she was being sincere and I know that it’s slightly hypocritical of me to mock someone who was moved by the same thing that had driven me to tears.  But, I mean…come on!  My tears were falling liquid bits of Hell compared to this womans, and I was still able to form complete sentences.  In fact, I was able to laugh.  Laugh so hard that I almost fell off the bed.  Laugh so hard that I had completely forgotten about the reunion, Mr. Cyrus, or the *just a little too much* that often comes with a show that discusses homecomings, children, veterans, and/or country music.

Sure, I can be sappy and silly, just as long as the majority of me is snarky and witty.  It’s how I was raised and it’s how I like to be.  Come cry on my shoulder and I’ll stroke your hair and give you my advice…but I’m also gonna break the sadness with a joke at your expense, but just know that it’s all out of love.  Watching this little snippet of Surprise Homecoming my cynicism was reborn and it made me feel like me again.  It also reminded me why I quit the Girl Scouts in the 6th grade.