September 2011


Today I spent a few minutes walking without my glasses on (operation gets contacts in eyes still a no go…hoping for success this weekend).  I was sitting on a bench during my lunch break reading a new book I bought yesterday.  I’m amazed at what doesn’t bother me when it comes to my glasses.  Maybe it’s because I’ve been wearing them for 13 years, or maybe whoever it is who makes the decision of who has shitty vision and must wear glasses and who can see clearly (now, the rain is gone…sorry) makes these decisions based on personality.  I know some folks who could not deal with having spotty vision thanks to some blown up dust.  Take a breath, wipe it off, move on.

While I was reading I noticed a few of these dust spots so I took the spectacles off to give them a little brush.  It’s a beautiful day today, which brought out loads of men, women, etc.  I decided to just watch for a minute without the help of glasses.  Things were blurry but not entirely indistinguishable.  Sitting and watching without glasses, I found, made me feel very introverted and secretive.  Kind of like, “you don’t know this but you look like a smeared pencil mark”.  Is it wierd to think like this?  Oh well, even if it is, the mischevious little brat in me enjoyed the game.

As the clock struck “time to get back to work” I decided to do a mini experiment.  Again, something just for me that thrilled the hell out of me and only me.  I walked the short walk from the bench to my office without my glasses on, and here were a few things I noticed:

  • New thoughts such as “Oh shit, steps” and “Where does that end???” kept coming up.
  • Hesitence, hesitence, hesitence.
  • Smelled something burning but didn’t look around to see what it was…had to remain focused (see second bullet).
  • Felt cross-eyed most of the walk…hope that was just in my head.

 

Anyone else ever played around with vision?  Walked with your eyes closed?  Totally different feeling, isn’t it?

The bathroom is a sacred space, agreed?  We all know what goes on in there but we don’t talk about it.  It’s like a brothel, and like the goings on of a brothel, if what goes on is discussed in public we all get a little antsy in our pantsy.  Apparently many out there don’t share my feelings because I’m constantly getting roped into conversation as I step into the stall.  This is MY space and MY time.  My “how are you” question was hypothetical and drawn from politeness.

I know you dudes do some of your beeswax out in the open, but I was under the impression that once the fly goes down the invisible door goes up.

Also, please don’t stroll into the stall next to me and heave out a sigh of relief, exhaustion, frustration, or giddyness.  If any of those emotions have to do with what you’re doing right now, I don’t want to know about it…and I won’t ask!

Am I the only one who feels this way?  Am I the prude because I think that talking and whatever happens behind a bathroom stall door just don’t mix?

seriously considering wearing this whenever i use the facilities at work

Today is a good day.  I know I shouldn’t be shocked when days are good, but with all of the “who knows what’s gonna happen” stuff in my life right now it’s hard to have a day when I’m not letting in all of that “what if” mumbo jumbo.

Today is a good day because of the following:

  • Apartment Lead.  After Saturdays major let down (see a couple posts back) I’m nervous/maybe a little too hopeful.  Send good vibes, please.
  • Small World iced chai avec plus cinnamon.  Just…yea.
  • Pending arrival of Fall clothes from American Eagle signify a pending arrival of Fall!
  • Posts from The Fitnessista, a completely inspirational/entertaining blog that I have recently delved into.  Her posts have helped me become more confident with eating and more thoughtful about fitness.  MAKE THE BREAKFAST COOKIE!!!
  • The PhD application spreadsheet has been created!  Finally feel like I’m moving forward and seeing the info in its Excel glory really helps with that (until I look at the application fee column).
  • Yoga with Elise at In Balance Center tonight.  In the last class I had with Elise I did my first full bind EVER.  Excited to see what is to come tonight (though must remember–if the bind doesn’t come, it’s not meant to come right now).

Sorry for the lack of sarcasm if that’s what you were hoping for.  Trust me…there have been a few rolled eyes and giggles of the under the breath variety mixed in with the above.  Snark+Happiness+Cinnamon=The way to be. 😉

Today I bought a chocolate bar.  It’s not halloween, nor am I having a party this weekend.  I bought the bar because I have an addiction and I’ve learned that supressing a chocolate addiction can only lead to a double intake of chocolate, and a really shitty attitude.  As an “I don’t like my body” girl from the get go, I tend to view chocolate as something bad that should only be had during holidays and low self esteem days or weeks.  Recently, however, I started to realize that in order to be healthy and potentially slim down I need to eat the right kind of food and not live like a nutritional nun.

This weekend was filled with parties, pasta, and beer (sorry, but there was no Petrone).  I did a moderate yoga practice on Saturday morning using one of the videos on the Kripalu website, but other than that and some white girl dancing to gangsta rap dancing, there was pretty much no exercise.  Whenever I have a non-exersice weekend it makes me think of the things I want to change about my eating and physical activity…is that bad?

Anywho, on the drive home this afternoon I decided to stop off at Wegmans for some salad ingredients.  I get bored with the familiar  homemade ceaser salads and Panera strawberry/kiwi/lambs blood ones.  I picked up romaine hearts and organic Feta cheese.  In the cabinet at home (cupboard for any of you Canadian readers…there are SO many of you ;)), I had quinoa, carrots, cucumbers, an apple, and balsamic vinagrette.  Combine with a little mom’s homemade chai latte, and it was FANTABULOUS!  Perfectly satisfying and I can’t wait to experiment with other salad recipes!

my attempt at a thumbs up after my first bite

But wait…isn’t the word chocolate in the title of this post?  Am I playing a joke on you?  Am I using buzz words in a cheap attempt to get readers? Oh, foodie reader, how could you think that I would do that??  During my Wegmans trip I was in the organic/health food section and found myself standing right in front of an aisle of chocolate (aka Mecca).  Recently I heard a radio host talk about how she buys the really good chocolate and by doing that she can have just a couple pieces at a time and feel incredibly satisfied.  She said she also feels better because she buys the good chocolate that isn’t filled with massive amounts of sugar and ingredients that the worlds best linguist couldn’t pronounce.  With this in mind I bought a bar of 70% Divine Fair Trade dark chocolate.  I am SO looking forward to not just the eating, but the choco-goodness indulging.

For ONCE, I’m looking forward to the experience rather than just the food.

Any foods that you used to have a fear of but eventually learned to love, for whatever reason??

Me and the dude figured we’d use today, a lovely Saturday, to hunt for an apartment.  It did not go well.  Places were either closed, did not have one bedroom apartments as their websites specified (though with the proper wig I could maybe pass for a 55 yr old), and previously set up appointments were postponed.  I know this is dumb, but with this day of failure came gross feelings of self-deprication and doubt.  Is this ever going to finally happen?  Are we too stupid to look for the right places?  I’d just like somewhere between a stinking rat hole where gang members chillax, and my parents house.  Is this so difficult???

I know these are dumb thoughts and as dumb thoughts often do, they will pass.  But after a day of failure, it’s difficult to be peppy and sunshiney and such.  I could’ve turned to alcohol after the afternoon we had, but I did not.  I turned to the high road.  I turned to mozzarella, basil, and tomato on foccacia bread, and I have to say…it helped a little.  The ice cream I plan to devour later tonight will also be of great and welcome assistance.

Have you had a shit-tastical apartment hunting experience?  Any tips for this novice?

When one is in a long-distance relationship, one must sometimes simply DEAL with stuff.  Not everything will work out the way you want it to.  Sometimes, Wednesday night sucks and Thursday night sucks and Monday morning definitely sucks.  Sometimes…it’s not so bad.  I’m apprehensive at giving unsolicited advise to people who are starting out in a long-distance relationship because all people and relationships are different.  Scott and I went into this whole thing thinking it would just be a fling o’ fun.  Little did we know it would turn into this:

 

 

the golden couple

 

However, there is one thing that will always, 154% guaranteed happen when you live here and he/she lives there.  I can guarantee you, my long-distance lover reader, that while in this relationship you will take another lover (gasp!).  No…you’re not going to be a slutty mcsluttersen.  The secondary relationship I’m talking about doesn’t give you the pleasure or cheap thrill that a one night stand might.  The relationship I’m talking about…is with your car.

You may already have a close relationship with your car.  You may have even named it (god, I miss Bubba).  But what happens in a long-distance relationship is that you begin to depend on your car more than most people.  I have an agreement with my faithful Focus that it will take me interstate on Fridays and Sundays without issue.  On the rare occasion that the low tire pressure light goes on or the windows don’t care to take it down a notch, we quarrel but always forgive each other because after all, there will always be another Friday.

Like most people, the car has a little something something that I love but at times I loathe, and that thing is the RADIO.  I don’t/can’t listen to terrestrial radio anymore (you know…Boomboom and Chickie in the morning! Coming atchya!).  Getting Sirius Radio was, well, amazeballs.  92% of the time on my travels to see my dude, you can find me listening to Howard Stern.  Don’t frigging shutter! Don’t gasp and give me a pseudo-knowing look.  Howard is the shit…he is hilarious…he is smart…he is entertaining…and as far as I know, they haven’t thrown bologna at a girls backside in years.  Unfortunately, there are times like now when Howard goes on hiatus and I’m left to my own devices during Friday evening rush hour.  These Howard-less rides can become kind of lonely because when Howard, Robin, Fred, et al are on I feel like there are a bunch of friends in my car keeping me entertained and motivated to not just run into someone to break up the monotiny that is bumper to bumper.

the reason this relationship has lasted for so long

 

Yesterday I was doing my typical drive.  As I slipped into Humphrey, I glared at his radio, praying that we could keep the peace for the next few hours.  Thankfully, he was agreable.  SUCH GOOD MUSIC!  I found myself wishing for a disco ball!  This made me think (aka blog in my head) that it would be nice to share some of the songs that kept me going during my drive.  The songs were found on a variety of Sirius music stations.  I strongly encourage you all to seek them out, especially if you’re in a long-distance relationship with one person and a love/hate one with your car.

Ici:

As the traffic started to pile up and an uninvited break in any good music came on, my mood began to shift.  I started to feel that same “ugh, not this again” feeling that comes with the onset of red, blinding break lights.  However, all of a sudden and without warning, a lovely noise came into the car.  Humphrey heard it too.  Like a choir of angels, but way more awesome.

Did you hear…that the temperature’s rising?  What about the fact that the berometers getting low?  I mean…according to my sources anyway…the street really is the best place to go.

Like a gift of the gods, it renewed my spirits!  I wish I could say that the traffic parted like the red sea.  Though it didn’t, something even beter and more nostalgic did occur.  Do you remember the late 90s?

Sure, not all of these songs are amazeballs.  But when you’re in a long-distance relationship the music is usually what keeps you going during the looooooong drives.  The songs don’t all have to be winners.  They just have to, for a few hours anyway, make you want to DANCE!