Mind Fairies aka Thoughts


no pie, but how the hell else am I supposed to entice you people to read?? ūüėČ

Alright, folks, I’ve gone and done it now.

I, your beloved shaman of the written word, have signed up for a 200 hour Yoga Alliance Teacher Training program! Only one (no so little) check stands in the way of me and officiality (it’s a word…trust me, I’m a teacher trainee).

I’m telling you this because you might find it interesting. Selfishly, I’m also telling you so I don’t chicken out.¬†¬†It’s been written…it’s in the interweb and cannot be taken back…it’s out there!

I so incredibly want to do this.¬† A couple months ago I’d filled out an application for a different program. I’d typed my answers so the teachers would look past my chicken scratch and accept me as a student. But for some reason…all the reasons, I never submitted it.

1. Too expensive

2. Too time consuming

3. I’m not good enough

Trust me…these points are not far from my mind even with the ink still dry on the chizzeck. ¬†However, this is something I have to do because I so insanely want to do it. ¬†Sure, it’ll be rewarding to teach and satisfying to roll back into plow position without internally screeching “No! No! Don’t! Death!”. But the main reason I want/have to do this training is because I miss learning just for me. Have I ever really done that? Have you? Practicality is great but it can very easily hindergrowth.

Eventually I’ll die and the time spent and experiences had will be more meaningful than the money that could’ve been spent at Starbucks.¬† Truthfully, I’m not as concerned about the practical stuff as I used to be even if some of the people around me are.¬† While an impending mortgage is on the horizon, I still feel that this is the time in my life when I get to be selfish.¬† BCE…Before Children Enter.

Have any of you gone through a yoga teacher training? Any tips?¬† Have any of you ever not done something because the practical side of your brain was telling you it just wasn’t the right time?¬†

Am I being silly when I say that once I have kids I won’t get to do for me?

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It is appropriate that I am a little tipsy on red wine while typing this…

…I miss Paris.¬† I miss it so much that my heart is bubbling with the tenderness of a rolled “R”.¬† When I go to Paris I feel full.¬† Sure, I may have just eaten half of my weight in cheese and filled the other half with muscles from Leon’s.¬† But that is not the kind of full that I mean.

There is a different oxegyn in Paris.¬† Anywhere else you will breath because your body tells you to.¬† In Paris breath exists so that we may enjoy life.¬† My breath in Paris pulls me forward…up the Champs Elyses and into a seat at Les Deux Magots.¬†¬† Each corner bookstore is a new inhalation and there is sweet air.¬† Perhaps the air is sweet because of each patisserie¬†on each street.¬† On my last trip to Paris each time I walked onto the Rue Cler in search of the freshest baguette this side of the Seine I was invegorated.¬† I don’t need the museums or the¬†places you must go.¬† I just need Paris.¬† The streets are where you want to be and where you want to live because it’s where you can find the most Parisian air.¬† The streets walk themselves up and down and the curves of the Marais are as beautiful as a woman.¬† Imagine being a woman walking on those heavenly feminine curves.¬† Delicious!

Each time you step outside in Paris falling in love doesn’t even come close to how you feel.¬† Love is fleeting and flightly.¬† Paris stands as it is and will love you unconditionally as it becomes what you want it to be.

 

Today I spent a few minutes walking without my glasses on (operation gets contacts in eyes still a no go…hoping for success this weekend).¬† I was sitting on a bench during my lunch break reading a new book I bought yesterday.¬† I’m amazed at what doesn’t bother me when it comes to my glasses.¬† Maybe it’s because I’ve been wearing them for 13 years, or maybe whoever it is who makes the decision of who has shitty vision and must wear glasses and who can see clearly (now, the rain is gone…sorry) makes these decisions based on personality.¬† I know some folks who could not deal with having spotty vision thanks to some blown up dust.¬† Take a breath, wipe it off, move on.

While I was reading I noticed a few of these dust spots so I took the spectacles off to give them a little brush.¬† It’s a beautiful day today, which brought out loads of men, women, etc.¬† I decided to just watch for a minute without the help of glasses.¬† Things were blurry but not entirely indistinguishable.¬† Sitting and watching without glasses, I found, made me feel very introverted and secretive.¬† Kind of like, “you don’t know this but you look like a smeared pencil mark”.¬† Is it wierd to think like this?¬† Oh well, even if it is, the mischevious little brat in me enjoyed the game.

As the clock struck “time to get back to work” I decided to do a mini experiment.¬† Again, something just for me that thrilled the hell out of me and only me.¬† I walked the short walk from the bench to my office without my glasses on, and here were a few things I noticed:

  • New thoughts such as “Oh shit, steps” and “Where does that end???” kept coming up.
  • Hesitence, hesitence, hesitence.
  • Smelled something burning but didn’t look around to see what it was…had to remain focused (see second bullet).
  • Felt cross-eyed most of the walk…hope that was just in my head.

 

Anyone else ever played around with vision?¬† Walked with your eyes closed?¬† Totally different feeling,¬†isn’t it?

Today is a good day.¬† I know I shouldn’t be shocked when days are good, but with all of the “who knows what’s gonna happen” stuff in¬†my life right now it’s hard to have a day¬†when I’m not letting in all of that “what if” mumbo jumbo.

Today is a good day because of the following:

  • Apartment Lead.¬† After Saturdays major let down (see a couple posts back) I’m nervous/maybe a little too hopeful.¬† Send good vibes, please.
  • Small World iced chai avec plus cinnamon.¬† Just…yea.
  • Pending arrival of Fall clothes from American Eagle signify a pending arrival of Fall!
  • Posts from The Fitnessista, a completely inspirational/entertaining blog that¬†I have recently delved into.¬† Her posts have helped me become more confident with eating and more thoughtful about fitness.¬† MAKE THE BREAKFAST COOKIE!!!
  • The PhD application spreadsheet has been created!¬† Finally feel like I’m moving forward and seeing the info in its Excel glory really helps with that (until I look at the application fee column).
  • Yoga with Elise at In Balance Center tonight.¬† In the last class I had with Elise I did my first full bind EVER.¬† Excited to see what is to come tonight (though must remember–if the bind doesn’t come, it’s not meant to come right now).

Sorry for the lack of sarcasm if that’s what you were hoping for.¬† Trust me…there have been a few rolled eyes and giggles of the under the breath variety mixed in with the above.¬†¬†Snark+Happiness+Cinnamon=The way to be. ūüėČ

Today I bought a chocolate bar.¬† It’s not halloween, nor am I having a party this weekend.¬† I bought the bar because I have an addiction and I’ve learned that supressing a chocolate addiction can only lead to a double intake of chocolate, and a really shitty attitude.¬† As an “I don’t like my body” girl from the get go, I tend to view chocolate as something bad that should only be had during holidays and low self esteem days or weeks.¬† Recently, however, I started to realize that in order to be healthy and potentially slim down I need to eat the right kind of food and not live like a nutritional nun.

This weekend was filled with parties, pasta, and beer (sorry, but there was no Petrone).¬† I did a moderate yoga practice on Saturday morning using one of the videos on the Kripalu website, but other than that and some white girl dancing to gangsta rap dancing, there was pretty much no exercise.¬† Whenever I have a non-exersice weekend it makes me think of the things I want to change about my eating and physical activity…is that bad?

Anywho, on the drive home this afternoon I decided to stop off at Wegmans for some salad ingredients.¬† I get bored with the familiar ¬†homemade ceaser salads and Panera strawberry/kiwi/lambs blood ones.¬† I picked up romaine hearts and organic Feta cheese.¬† In the cabinet at home (cupboard for any of you Canadian readers…there are SO many of you ;)), I had quinoa, carrots, cucumbers, an apple, and balsamic vinagrette.¬† Combine with a little mom’s homemade chai latte, and it was FANTABULOUS!¬† Perfectly satisfying and I can’t wait to experiment with other salad recipes!

my attempt at a thumbs up after my first bite

But wait…isn’t the word chocolate in the title of this post?¬† Am I playing¬†a joke on you?¬† Am I using buzz words in a cheap attempt to get readers? Oh, foodie reader, how could you think that I would do that??¬† During my Wegmans trip I was in the organic/health food section and found myself standing right in front of an aisle of chocolate (aka Mecca).¬† Recently I heard a radio host talk about how she buys the really good chocolate and by doing that she can have just a couple pieces at a time and feel incredibly satisfied.¬† She said she also feels better because she buys the good chocolate that isn’t filled with massive amounts of sugar and ingredients that the worlds best linguist couldn’t pronounce.¬† With this in mind I bought a bar of 70% Divine Fair Trade dark chocolate.¬† I am SO looking forward to not just the eating, but the choco-goodness indulging.

For ONCE, I’m looking forward to the experience rather than just the food.

Any foods that you used to have a fear of but eventually learned to love, for whatever reason??

When one is in a long-distance relationship, one must sometimes simply DEAL with stuff.¬† Not everything will work out the way you want it to.¬† Sometimes, Wednesday night sucks and Thursday night sucks and Monday morning definitely sucks.¬† Sometimes…it’s not so bad.¬† I’m apprehensive at giving unsolicited advise to people who are starting out in a long-distance relationship because all people and relationships are different.¬† Scott and I went into this whole thing thinking it would just be a fling o’ fun.¬† Little did we know it would turn into this:

 

 

the golden couple

 

However, there is one thing that will always, 154% guaranteed happen when you live here and he/she lives there.¬† I can guarantee you, my long-distance lover reader, that while in this relationship you will take another lover (gasp!).¬† No…you’re not going to be a slutty mcsluttersen.¬† The secondary relationship I’m talking about doesn’t give you the pleasure or cheap thrill that a one night stand might.¬† The relationship I’m talking about…is with your car.

You may already have a close relationship with your car.¬† You may have even named it (god, I miss Bubba).¬† But what happens in a long-distance relationship is that you begin to depend on your car more than most people.¬† I have an agreement with my faithful Focus that it will take me interstate on Fridays and Sundays without issue.¬† On the rare occasion that the low tire pressure light goes on or the windows don’t care to take it down a notch, we quarrel but always forgive each other because after all, there will always be another Friday.

Like most people, the car has a little something something that I love but at times I loathe, and that thing is the RADIO.¬† I don’t/can’t listen to terrestrial radio anymore (you know…Boomboom and Chickie in the morning! Coming atchya!).¬† Getting Sirius Radio was, well, amazeballs.¬† 92% of the time on my travels to see my dude, you can find me listening to Howard Stern.¬† Don’t frigging shutter! Don’t gasp and give me a pseudo-knowing look.¬† Howard is the shit…he is hilarious…he is smart…he is entertaining…and as far as I know, they haven’t thrown bologna at a girls backside in years.¬† Unfortunately, there are times like now when Howard goes on hiatus and I’m left to my own devices during Friday evening rush hour.¬† These Howard-less rides can become kind of lonely because when Howard, Robin, Fred, et al are on I feel like there are a bunch of friends in my car keeping me entertained and motivated to not just run into someone to break up the monotiny that is bumper to bumper.

the reason this relationship has lasted for so long

 

Yesterday I was doing my typical drive.¬† As I slipped into Humphrey, I glared at his radio, praying that we could keep the peace for the next few hours.¬† Thankfully, he was agreable.¬† SUCH GOOD MUSIC!¬† I found myself wishing for a disco ball!¬† This made me think (aka blog in my head) that it would be¬†nice to share some of the songs that kept me going during my drive.¬† The songs were found on a variety of Sirius music stations.¬† I strongly encourage you all to seek them out, especially if you’re in a long-distance relationship with one person and a love/hate one with your car.

Ici:

As the traffic started to pile up and an uninvited break in any good music came on, my mood began to shift.¬† I started to feel that same “ugh, not this again” feeling that comes with the onset of red, blinding break lights.¬† However, all of a sudden and without warning, a lovely noise came into the car.¬† Humphrey heard it too.¬† Like a choir of angels, but way more awesome.

Did you hear…that the temperature’s rising?¬† What about the fact that the berometers getting low?¬† I mean…according to my sources anyway…the street really is the best place to go.

Like a gift of the gods, it renewed my spirits!¬† I wish I could say that the traffic parted like the red sea.¬† Though it didn’t, something even beter and more nostalgic did occur.¬† Do you remember the late 90s?

Sure, not all of these songs are amazeballs.¬† But when you’re in a long-distance relationship the music is usually what keeps you going during the looooooong drives.¬† The songs don’t all have to be winners.¬† They just have to, for a few hours anyway, make you want to DANCE!

Yesterday, since I survived the hurricane and all, I went for a run.  I also needed to break in my new sneakers, which I love but for the next couple of runs will cause me nothing but frustration and sore knees (pretty much what happens when you try anything or anyone new).

I did my typical 3.2 mile run around the neighborhood, but this excursion was different all because I looked to the left.¬† When I run outside, as I’m guessing most people do, I usually look straight ahead of me.¬† If there’s any curvature of the neck it’s usually downward to make sure there aren’t any big dips or branches that could cause me to relive the Tumble of ’96 (quite traumatizing. far too painful to discuss on the interweb.).¬† Looking ahead is also a good way to distract me from the fact that I’ve been running for over 2 miles and I’m tired.¬† Rarely do I break tradition by looking side to side unless I have to cross the street.

On this particular run, however, as I ran down South Triangle Road, I looked a little bit to the left.¬† I have gone down this road countless times (tried to count, failed).¬† And yet, this one time because I looked a little bit to the left I noticed a field.¬† It wasn’t anything insanely expansive.¬† People from Iowa probably wouldn’t bat an eye.¬† But regardless of what those corn pushers might think, I was really taken aback by this field that I’d ignored for so long.¬† Usually my peripheral vision never passed the “For Sale” sign at the edge of the sidewalk.¬† Why the hell had I never wondered what exactly was for sale?¬† Continuing this new found curiosity and cranial motion I looked to the left a little more…hell, I even gave the right side a little attention!¬† Here’s what I saw that I swear to bejesus, I had never noticed:

1. Mary Mother of God Church finally has a roof after almost a year of construction.

2. My parents driving on Triangle Road, waving and flashing their lights at me.

3. The realtor sign that I thought had been taken down, sadly laying under a bunch of branches next to a metal fence.

4. A community of birds nests in a tree that I usually dodge because of it’s long branches.

So maybe I didn’t have an amazing, post natural disaster epihpany along the way.¬† Oh well.¬† Just the fact that I saw things that I don’t usually see¬† and that are worth seeing, except for the cooky parents, was enough for me.¬† I fully intend to go to some of my other running routes once the rivers have stopped flooding, and look a little to the left.

When you look a little to the left after staring straight for so long, what do you see?  Anything new?  Anything naked?

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